The events that have passed this evening are beyond words... but I will try to explain.

The Power of The Cross Sunday, April 8 2007
The divine exchange – Isaiah 53:5. He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. When Jesus died on the cross, a divine exchange occurred. We received peace and healing, he received pain.

Wherever you take me ... I will follow

What has God done for me? Where was my life before God? What was my breaking point?
- Going to church doesn't make you a Christian --> Satan goes to church every week
- We need a pinnacle time, where the holy spirit squeezes us, and we realize how sinful and dirty we are --> even if we have been a relatively “good person”, we really don't know... till we come to that point

When Jesus was being tested and hurt in all situations.. coming at him from all sides.. love came out. He said forgive them, they do not realize what they do. I can do the same, I can love in all situations. When people do not realize what they do, when they don't realize how they hurt, I can pray this prayer. I can learn to love in all situations, no matter how agonizing or overpowering, I can come out loving and with self-control.

Galatians 3:13 – He became the curse to break it. God had to turn his back from Jesus. Jesus was perfect. He had never been separated from God before. He could not look at his son with all that junk on him. God despised his own son. I picture Jesus literally blackened, his skin dark with our sin. God couldn't even look at him. How much would that hurt? It's like a little kid when they get a parent angry at them. They feel so bad. It hurts so bad to see their parents angry face. Times that by a million for Jesus.

I need a living relationship. It can become normal and almost natural to pray, to talk to God all the time. My passion does not have to die. The worship leader said that he married his wife 17 years ago and he loves her more today than ever before. He said the same is with his relationship with God. I can live my life.. driving my car.. just talking to God. It doesn't have to be super spiritual. It can just come naturally. I just have to work at it. To exercise my faith muscle. Faith is a real thing. It is not unattainable, it does not have to come down in huge prayer sessions, or anything fancy, it can just be worked on.

It was religious people who killed Jesus. Many of our problems are caused by religion, rigidness, just going through the motions and the emotions. God can be new and exciting every time I come into his presence. Church is not supposed to be boring.

When I am going through hell... Lord Jesus I receive the power of the cross
I need to pray this by faith. I will never experience the power of the cross till he's on the inside. I need to access it by faith. The cross is the place of death to myself, that I may have Jesus live through me. I choose to die, to die to myself, that you may live in my life. I need to die to myself daily. I can learn about the power of the cross as I call it down in my life.

Faith is a muscle, it needs to be exercised.. especially the power of the cross. The pastor told us that this worked for him. Toss out what doesn't work, hold fast to what does. This does work. Even when I feel it doesn't work I need to keep doing what God called me to do... to keep praying this power of the cross. When I don't feel anything – practice! Keep on doing it.. it will work. Exercising by faith – I need to practice. I can lay hands on my own head or heart and pray for the power. Paul's faith was centered on dying to himself daily and praying for the power.

Worms and beads can't stop me! It's stupid – He's defeated!

I know now that I need to go to a ministry school, or at least a program. I can't just go to a Christian university. I need to go to a place where I will be taught how to access God more fully. I am not ready to lead. I need more time to find out exactly where God is going to send me. I believe a one year ministry program will be best. I need to build my relationship with God. Listening to the pastor tonight.. inspired me.. I want to be like him. But first I need to exercise my faith muscle. I am still such a beginner Christian. I need some time to just get away, to listen to God's voice and to grow.

Tonight was an amazing night. The whole team (cept 2 peeps) came together under what I will call the God umbrella. After I finished praying, I looked over only to see most of our group huddled together on the floor, in a prayer circle, laying hands on Rachel. Then Rachel suggested we lay hands on Lauren. It was so beautiful. The strongest relationships formed are those with a spiritual base. We will grow together even more. We all know that something huge is going to happen once we return to Canada. God will use us. No doubt about it.
Alex shared her little story with me tonight. I liked it so I will share it with everyone. When the pastor invited everyone up to the front for prayer, Alex said to God that if he wanted to talk to her, he can come to her, she wasn't going up. Well right after that Laura and Liesl sat down beside her. She was praying to herself and everything that she prayer, Laura and Liesl were praying over her. She also asked God to put on this one song, and that happened to.
After worship before the pastor's message, the pastor asked for 3 of us to talk. He asked us to talk about maybe what God has done for us or whatever was on our heart. Well it began with Mr. K pointing at Ben from across the room and so he had to go up and share (because no one was volunteering). He talked about how he has learned that God does speak to us through other people. He talked about Ellis's story. God told Ellis that he would be a pastor, but he wouldn't believe it. He prayed for a sign, that someone would come up to him and tell him that he needs to be a pastor. Well after he prayed that 3 different people that day came up to him and said that. Ben also talked about that church service we went to where the pastor prayed over me and God told him that I had issues with my father. So that was Ben's little blurb. Then Ben sits down and calls out Meg's name. And everyone was like, yea Meg. So she went up and shared. She told us that she grew up in a reformed church and that is was really boring. She talked about while we were in Belize one of our first church services, YWAM was hosting a legacy meeting (basically a teenager conference thinger). She said that that service was amazing for her. Once she had finished, Rachel yelled out Elena's name and it was her turn. She had the same type testimony, reformed church and then the legacy meeting. She said that that was the first time she had ever raised her hand in worship. She saw girls and boys just crying, breaking before God. She said that that was amazing for her.

Well then it was my turn. I had already felt that I should go up since the beginning invitation. But I didn't have anything specific to say, so I waited. I told myself that I would go up if someone called out my name. Well sure enough, Rachel yelled out my name next. I told them that I had already had an experience like the legacy meeting at home. That I used to go to a youth group and I was really close with God. But I fell away. I left that youth group, I read my bible less and less, and my prayers were short.. just terrible. Then I told them that I have come here to Belize. How from the first church service, God basically told me that it is okay that I fell away. He told me that he wants to work with me as I am.. right here. And that's when I said to God that I am going to follow wherever he leads me. My life is his alone. I will follow him.