Grow Up Part 2

This morning I woke up at 8am naturally as I have done for quite some time now. As I opened my Bible I asked God to reveal to me which passage he wanted me to read. The voice came to me and I felt called to 1 Thessalonians 4:7, For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. I have been struggling for the past few days with a few things that have caused me to be impure. Mr.K's words would be ringing in my head, “we are 90% there, its just that last 10% that we keep stumbling over, don't beat yourself up about it.” This thing has been a stumbling block for a very long time for me, since I was a young child.

While I was in worship tonight at Jubilee church God kept on bringing things to mind that I need to work on. The last 2 weeks Jubilee has really been focussing on walking with the spirit and listening to God's voice. I know I need God to help me because Satan still has some control over my flesh. I need to stop caring about what people think. I can't minister to people if I am afraid of what they will think. I kept on praying for a new touch from God. I need a new touch from him every day, if I don't feel God, I will not pursue him. I need to feel his presence always.
God wants me to be very specific in my prayers. If I am specific about what I want then God will give it to me. Psalm 37 --> he will act. Commit my life to him and he will do all those things for me. I know that God has something for me before I leave Belize. I need to press in so I don't lose what has been done in me here. I cannot back off, I need to fight for the presence, keeping the enemy in check. I need to be sober, be vigilant, and be aware.

Hebrews 5:12-14 --> can be in the church all your life and still be a baby! We need to mature.

Matthew 28:18 – all authority in heaven and on earth is in me, I just need to release it. We need the oomph; I can't let a religious spirit cause me to go through the motions—stop the life/power. Enough is enough! I need to get angry, to put my foot down. When I feel that I am going through the motions, I need to reconsecrate myself to the Lord, pray that he may release his power again.

If I am living in the truth, I have to follow the great commission. To make disciples, I need to pour my life into people. I need to take them deeper into the Lord, help them receive God's grace and power. If they know I love them and know that I want the best for them, I can correct them (firm/loving correction). I need to grow up. To mature I need to 1) admit that I am powerless, 2) walk in his ways, and 3) teach others. Although, I need to take it one day at a time. I need to be like Ezra. He set his heart to study the law, lived it, and taught God's principles (Ezra 7:10). Even though he was only a scribe. We need the holy spirit, we don't need a degree. We don't need to be afraid to stand up for righteousness. 2 Timothy 2 --> how can I help if I don't know the word. People are watching, I need to live out what I teach. 2 Timothy 4:1-3 --> be prepared all the time.

After Pastor Scott finished, another lady came up to the front and spoke this word. She said that God is breaking generational curses, in her family, but also in the Christian community. This is what God spoke to her. The Christian babies must grow up quickly, there is a great spiritual battle going on. I must pray to find out what generational curses there are in my family, and pray them away. This woman said that once the curses were broken that sunday a few family members were saved. She told us that her son who she had been praying for a long time, her son who left for the army and didn't want to hear anything about God. He called home, and told her that he had given his life to Christ. This can be for my family too.
Eventhough these last 3 weeks are going to be quite challenging I hold fast to that fact that God needs to complete his work in me. I need to toughen up now more than ever. An airplane cannot fly without resistence. To work out, resistence (weights) is needed. To strengthen us, we need to embrace the resistence. I pray now more than ever for a break through in my life. That I will cease to be a spiritual baby and would grow up. I pray that the devil will no longer have control over my flesh and that I may become a teacher to my friends and family. James 1:4

Burning Up

Time: 7:01pm

Date: May 5, 2007

Sitting here in my living room, surrounded by my team mates. It is hot!! Well today was pretty interesting. I said goodbye to my family. I saw them board the plane and then the team was off to Subway. Subway was pretty scrumptious. I haven't had a meal that good in a long time. Cold cut trio on a onion herb and oregano sub with lettuce and mayo. Topped off with a refreshing crystal peach juice and a macadamian nut cookie. The best peach juice ever, with the best cookie ever. Seriously, it twas amazing. Anyways, now that I am salivating... on with the day.

Before I dive into the rest of my thrilling (sarcasm) day, I will update on what I did the past week. I was unable to get to the Internet, let alone use my laptop. I forgot to bring my laptop battery charging cord so yea, no laptop, no ILC, for 4 days. My family took me away to the Cayes, to Caye Caulker which is a beautiful island. The first day and night, we took Elena, Lisa (from the orphanage) and Emily with us. For those who have not heard about Lisa, she is a 23 year old young woman who has come to live on the base. Aislin and Elena met her at the orphanage and invited her back to the base to live with us. This is because her current arrangement was living at the orphanage for 3 months. She is from Oregon, USA. She is really awesome and she had never been to the Caye yet so we invited her along.

After the first night, Elena and Lisa went back together to the base leaving Emily, Angie, Lars, Mom and I to stay at the Caye till Friday at 3 pm. Like I said, my laptop's battery was dead so I couldn't do my ILC courses, I couldn't listen to music, and I couldn't use the internet. So I spent my days on the beach, shopping, and eating at different restaurants. I'm not gonna lie, it was pretty sweet.
Our first day at the Cayes we were joined by the whole team. That day half the team was already being taken away to Caye Caulker by their parents, so Mr.K decided to take the whole team there. After settling in, Lars wanted to see the island so we rented a golf cart and went everywhere. We eventually ended up in the less developed part of the Island, jungle on each side. But yea, that was pretty cool. We got really hot, so after that we went to the water. The stinky thing about Caye Caulker is that there really is no beach area. There is the ocean everywhere, but no sand. So when we got to the best swimming area, we really just jumped off the cement wall into the ocean. The water was pretty salty, let alone the nasty seaweed, sharp plants, rocks, holes and sea creatures. Let's just say we didn't swim too deep. It ended up being just Angie and I floating in the shallow area on Angie's float which she bought for $5US. She just HAD to have it. Eventually, we were joined by Emily. Although not long after, our peaceful salt dip was interrupted by these crazy little kids who thought it was funny to throw giant starfish at us. These were huge starfish. They chased us all the way to the cement wall, which we scrambeled so frantically to get over that we cut our hands and feet. Although once we got out, the oldest yelled out to us “hey sexy ladies”. The younger followed his lead. It was a very odd moment in my life. Well after swimming we went out for dinner at a place called the Herbal Tribe. Long story short, I didn't like my meal, nor anyone else at the table. I ended up eating a double portion of their amazing appetizer nachos. Although, once we left there, we got some amazing icecream which became tradition for the rest of our time there. Everytime I had chocolate mint, single scoop, in a sugar cone. Mmm

After our first day at the Caye, the whole group of us went to San Pedro, which is an island only a short boat trip away (this was before Elena and Lisa left us). We spent a large part of the day touring the island on a golf cart Lars rented. During this time, we would stop off at stores and do some shopping. All that shopping made us hungry so for lunch we went to a bakery and pigged out on delicious goodies. After that it was time for Lisa and Elena to take the boat ride from San Pedro back to Belize City to go home. Once they had left, Emily, Ang and I set out for some more shopping on the beach. Every local has a little shop set up selling necklaces. We went down a strip and there was 4 shops attached. Let's just say we spent hours there... It was soo bad. We were so indecisive. Most necklaces were $15B ($7.50US). Angie and I practised our barganing skills. It was hilarious because when the lady rejected us we didn't know what to do. We tried the walking away technique. Angie tried the “I only have this much technique.” Some worked, some didn't. Once we had finally finished shopping, we went swimming. That was pretty fun cept there were 2 what looked like 13 year olds who were swimming just a little too close if you know what I mean. LOL. Anyways, Lars got sick of waiting and told us to come back so that they could walk around a little. They had been sitting there for 2 hours I believe. :S After we left San Pedro, we took a boat taxi back to Caye Caulker and went out for dinner once we arrived.

The next 2 days were spent tanning, swimming, shopping and eating. My first day in the sun, I decided I wanted to tan so badly, that I refused to put of sunscreen except for one application of spf 8 to my arms (because they are already so black). The second last morning, we went to a place called the Sea Deli Cafe and ate breakfast. They had these yummy sandwiches which were really just ham and cheese grilled between two tortillas with a mustardy mayo sauce. It was cheap and delicious. Our final dinner was really good too. It had become tradition to order nachos at every restaurant we went to so we ordered that. I got a quesidilla with chicken and cheese, fries, and an orange fanta. Mmm. My new favourite drink here in Belize. Orange pop but just a little fizzier. Eventhough we were really full, I still got icecream. Yuminess.

I think that about sums up my trip to the Cayes. I probably forgot a lot, but I think that's the good stuff. One very interesting aspect of Belize is that is you are a white girl you will never feel unattractive. I wasn't even wearing my bikini and we got soo many cat calls and all that. Em, Ang and I were walking, and one guy walks by saying “those are the girls that stole my heart.” One guy serenaded Angie. It was ridiculous. Every 5-10 minutes a new guy. But I guess you get the good with the bad.

Well now that everyone is updated with what went down while I was gone, let's finish up with today. I got back from Belize city, only to find out that I belize my sister took my camera with her back to Canada. That, or I lost it. Yay. I did absolutely nothing really today. I decided to not take a last placement and to just stay on the base and do my ILC couses. So I will have 3 weeks straight of ILCs woot woot. Rachel and Liesl and finally off together to Spanish Lookout. This will be Rachel's first placement off the base. We had a delicious dinner of macaroni. Oh and we finally can have dairy in our diet. This whole time we have had powdered milk. Mmm. But now we have icecream in the freezer, and milk / cheese in the fridge. I am feeling pretty meh. I know that I will see my family in 3ish weeks, but it was sad to see them off. I didn't cry or anything, but a little part of me wanted to go home with them. I know that I need to stay here for God to complete the work that he started in me. This will be the most challenging part of the trip, but I know that I can do it.

James 1:4

Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Stand Firm

April 28, 2007

This is the word God has given to me this morning. I am working on listening to his voice, and the word I received was 1 Thessalonians 2:15. Although as I was flipping to that chapter I first landed on 2 Thessalonians 2:15 which is about standing firm. Once I read 1 Thessalonians 2:15, I think I heard wrong. Anyways, this is the word I have received: Stand Firm 2 Thess 2:15.

So then brothers stand firm and hold to the teachings we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth or by letter.

This has been a tough week so far for me. On the one hand I have my family here and I am so happy. But on the other hand I feel as if the house has gone to pieces. Many of the students are really beginning to count the days till we go home. Many of the students have gone back into their old ways with the rebelling, yelling and attitude. There are a lot of problems in the camp itself.

I am beginning to feel overwhelmed by the turmoil. I am afraid that when my family leaves it will be really hard. But I know that God needs to complete his work in me. I can't leave early.

You know that under pressure, your faith life is forced to open and show its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. James 1

I need God's strength to do these things. I need God's strength to be agreeable, sympathetic, loving, compassionate, and humble. Whatever I am going through, I need to let God's strength hold me up. There may be things for me to learn, things for me to do, ways I can be an example to others as I let God strengthen me in my weakness. I ask you God for the strength to meet these testing challenges head-on and stick it out.

Where Do I Go from Here?

- focus ahead.. the hypocrites to my left, right and behind don't matter, God will deal with them
- need to focus on Jesus ahead
- Jesus has his arms wide open to me, he holds my life in his hands, he is my life
- Redeemer: If I go there, I need to not focus on all the hypocrites
- I need to focus ahead, on Jesus, ignore those who are religious but have no relationships
- Reform the reformed church
- God will make a way financially (Opa's wife)
- who cares what people think of me for going to Redeemer, those who think that I am uber-reformed.. or those that think I am going to a school that lacks the holy spirit
- I will bring it there!
- I need to have a real relationship, but then also build myself up on the word
- I will be like Pastor Erick

Jeremiah 29:11-13
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Day: April 21, 2007
Time: 9:37pm

Pastor Scott
- Pray before I open the word, God what do you want me to read? What do you want to speak to me?
- Practice listening to God's voice
- Even if sometimes I hear a verse, and it doesn't exist, that's okay, I just heard wrong, keep trying
- God speaks in the still small voice
- Pray that God would use my conscious to speak to me, following this I will align my life with God's destiny and plan for my life
- Eventually, he will tell me where I am to go